Query Letter V3.0

Okay in addition to writing my synopsis I have been polishing the old query letter.

Here is my latest version.

Dear Agent type person

Jeff Heaven is a small time Ecstasy dealer working off-the-strip clubs pawning pills. Jeff’s friend Charles brings him a hit of a strange new drug called Midnight. The black pill is so dark that it seems to dim the lights around it. Jeff is concerned with the drug’s appearance but the effects are so incredible that he agrees to help his friend sell it.

As the drug spreads through the clubs and casinos, Jeff begins to realize that everything might not be what it seems. He hears whispering in the back of his mind and he doesn’t like what it is telling him. People who are using the drug start behaving strangely, violently, a crime wave breaks out in the city.

Niccolo Casciano is a straight laced Las Vegas Metro Officer, he knows little about street drugs and less about the supernatural. In one night he is about to learn a lot about both.

Tymon can feel the growing evil in his bones the way other men can feel approaching storms. The ancient priest scrambles desperately to find out what it is, and how to stop it.

Deep within the pastel shadows cast by neon lights a demon patiently watches as her essence is consumed by thousands. She grows in power and influence; soon she will have enough to return to our world and exact her vengeance.

Midnight in Vegas is a 125,000 word supernatural thriller that takes the reader from the high tempo club scene of Las Vegas and into the twilight realm of the Perimeter, the world between worlds.

 Thank you for your time and consideration, I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Respectfully,

Lystra Pitts

Published in: on June 5, 2009 at 5:23 pm  Comments (2)  
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And Here Comes the Pitch

So obviously the moment we’ve all been waiting for is fast approaching. I am going to sit down with as many agents as I can and pitch my novel Midnight In Vegas. The poor agents are being forced at gunpoint to listen to the pitches of possibly hundreds of desperate writers such as myself. This is the infamous BEA pitch slam. Writers and agents crowded together into a hot room for an uncomfortable hour of pure selling. The neophyte writers sacrificing themselves en masse on the bourbon stained altars of the seasoned veterans of the publishing world.

At least that is how it goes down in my imagination. I have no idea what it is really going to be like. It looks like it could be an unadulterated orgy of ideas and I am, how you say, a wirgin? (Gotcha) I’ve never pitched my book to anybody. Now I am signed up for the biggest manage-a-minds in the industry.

How do you prepare for that???

  • Go over my story in my head. Over and Over and Over again. –check
  • Write down key points I need to cover in my Pitch. -check
  • Read every blog ever written about pitching, both by agents and authors. –check
  • Brush teeth. – check (never hurts to start early)
  • Work on roguish yet authorial look in bathroom mirror every morning. – check
  • Make super cool personal business cards with all contact info. -check

Things that I might do, or that I am not sure I should do, or really don’t want to do.

  • Write down and memorize a pitch. While that appeals to paranoid little voice in the back of my head, I don’t think I want to do that. I have some notes and highlights jotted down but I don’t want to sound robotic or rehearsed and I am a very extemporaneous type of speaker anyway.
  • Go Naked. If there is one way to be sure they’ll remember me, that’d be it. Obvious drawbacks. (To any agents or publishers who might read this, I am joking, It’s going to be ok, really. Put the phone down, don’t cancel the trip, please, I’ll be good. I really want to talk to you.)
  • Get a haircut- For real this time. I think I need something more roguish, or authorial. I alternate on which I need every morning.
  • Pack a couple of copies of my manuscript. As everyone with a complete manuscript knows, the bastards are heavy, but I don’t want to be caught flat footed if somebody asks for a full? From what I have seen and read I don’t think that they will. Best case; they’ll wait for me to email or mail it to them.
  • Burn full ms on to a couple of thumb drives. Could solve the fantasy problem of having someone wanting to read me right away. But those cost money and I am already spending too much of that.

 

Anybody else have any suggestion or comments? Am I missing anything?

Tchuss

-Lystra

Query Letter V1.0

Here is my first query letter attempt:

Dear Mr/Ms Important Agent or Editor

Jeff Heaven is getting a bit long in the tooth to be a club kid, let alone an Ecstasy dealer. He had thought he had seen it all when a strange and powerful new drug emerges from the pulsating clubs of Las Vegas, instantly replacing Ecstasy as the drug of choice for the ravers and revelers. The substance spreads like a cancer throughout the city, and Jeff discovers his friend is the sole supplier.

Niccolo Casciano is a strait laced Las Vegas Metro Officer out clubbing with his girlfriend Abby. He knows little about street drugs and less about the supernatural but when he finds out that his girlfriend has dosed him with Ecstasy he storms out of the club with Abby in tow and into a crepuscular nightmare world. He has to learn quickly about both to survive.

 Deep within the pastel shadows cast by neon lights a demon patiently watches as her essence is consumed by thousands. She grows in power and influence; soon she will have enough to return to our world. Can either Jeff or Nic realize what is really happening, and if they do, can they stop her?

Midnight in Vegas is a 125,000 word supernatural thriller that takes the reader from the high tempo club scene of Las Vegas and into the twilight realm of the Perimeter, the world between worlds.

Nic must fight his way through both to face the demon at the opening of a brand new club and stop her from reentering our world.

 I’ll be glad to send you my complete manuscript for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration, I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Respectfully

Lystra Pitts

Okay here is the deal. I don’t want any positive feedback. NONE. I love you guys who are all support but if you can’t think of anything mean to say don’t say anything at all. I WANT REAL CRITISISM. Same as the last drill, email, tweet or comment. Please help me, this is important.

Thanks

-Lystra

Excerpt from “Midnight in Vegas”

Okay here is a piece from my book that I am especially proud of. This dialog takes place near the end of the book between two major characters. Tymon is a priest, among other things, and is trying to explain to Abby why she is in danger. The point of the dialog is tying together the Christian and Pagan mythologies that I have in my story. One problem I faced is how a Christian would deal with so much of the supernatural world being “real”. I needed a Christian rationalization for Pagan gods, spirits and demons. I think this sums it up nicely. No spoilers for anything other than Abby and Tymon live at least 3/4 of the way through the book.

“Souls,” Tymon said quietly. “Your soul is at stake, eternity is at stake, for you and everyone else this Succubus infects with her vileness. Do you believe in Heaven?”

“Yeah, I’m Catholic of course I believe in Heaven. I believe in God too, a loving and just God. God does not damn innocent people to Hell just because they did some drug or walked through a door.”

“No, He does not. God does not damn innocent people, but He did give us free will and with that gift he created the Darkness to test us.”

“Not my God. My God loves me know matter what I do. Jesus loves sinners. For a priest you have some twisted views on God. My priest always told me that Jesus was here to save us from our sins. He died for us on the cross so we could all go to Heaven. No spirit or demon or whatever can defeat Jesus’ plan.”

Tymon smiled and his eyes lit up. Not with fury but with love, she felt his love pouring through his eyes, it was disarming. “You are correct, Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ did die for our sins. He does love us, protect us and shelters us through the darkest nights.”

“Then why all this? Why is there this demon preying upon us?”

“That is what I am trying to explain to you. Modern religion focuses only on the peaceful passages of the Bible. Christianity is a religion of hope, and the message has been distilled over the centuries until only hope remains but there is more in that book than hope. There are warnings, dark and dire, for no matter how great the love of Son may be, the wrath of the Father is equally harsh.”

“They are the same thing.” Abby said, she learned the Trinity in catechism every school kid knew that.

“No, they are not.” Tymon shook his head. “They are not the same. They are different aspects of our Creator, but they are not the same. If they were the same they would only have one name.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” She knew some people who had problems with the Trinity but it was always so simple to her. They were the same, period, end of story.

“I do not pretend to understand the mind of God.” Tymon said. “But listen to me and see if you can follow my logic. I have had a long time to contemplate this, and much reason to.” Abby nodded and he continued. “The Lord created us to love us and for us to love Him. But what value does love have if it is forced? Have you ever gained pleasure from unearned praise? Is it satisfying to have someone tell you how great you are because they have to?”

“No.”  Abby shook her head.

“So it was with the Father. He had to give us free will, in order to receive what he desired. He gave us the will to choose for ourselves, the freedom to love, so that He could truly be loved in return. But that is not enough, there had to be an alternative, and an adversary.  For what good is the freedom of choice without an alternative? What is the value of choice without a penalty for choosing poorly?”

“None.” She was intrigued with his words. Nobody had ever spoken to her about God like this, not even her priest.

“So the Creator made other beings. He created angels, demons, gods and spirits. Some of these beings he charged with our protection, knowing that we would need assistance in our fight. Others he made to rival Him, to give us options for our love, so that we could rightly choose Him over all others. So that the love we offer up to Him has meaning. The rest He charged with our destruction and subordination. They were put on this world to test us, to try us, and tempt us, to make us worthy of His love. The Father tests our love and even the love of His only Son. Jesus was constantly beleaguered by the powers of darkness, for the Son, being a man, had to prove that his love was true, just as we do.” 

Abby was shocked at how much sense he was making. “But what about souls, you said that my soul is in danger? How can my soul be in danger?”

“I am getting to that.” Tymon tisked, “In order to make these other creatures worthy adversaries and rivals they would need power, so he gave it to them. To some he even gave power rivaling His own. With all this power the others could have destroyed us, enslaved us, or used us up in wars upon each other but the Lord in his wisdom created a caveat. Their power came not directly from Him, nor did they have power of their own like He does.”

Tymon crossed himself and continued, “No, their power comes from us, from the one thing that we can give freely, the one thing He desires from us, our love and our souls. They need us to love and worship them, in the very least believe in or fear them, to use their power. They cannot destroy us or they will destroy themselves, they need us. The more we believe, the more we worship, the stronger they become, which is why Lucifer made sure that his name is in the scripture. We all know about the devil and while we do not worship him, we believe in him and he is stronger for it.”

So there you go.

Tell me what you think.

-Lystra

Published in: on May 4, 2009 at 9:08 pm  Comments Off  
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Queries SUCK

Okay, In addition to editing and rewriting and polishing my manuscript I am also working on my Query Letter. In preparation for this I have been reading the blogs of several literary agents, queryfail, queryshark and any other information I can get a hold of and my synopsis is this:

Queries Suck.

It seems that while most agents consider queries an essential evil in their world, they still think it is the best method for discovering new talent. I think I am new talent; so it is definitely an essential evil in my world, but I hate it. I loathe it, I have the biggest block in the world to move to get this bastard done. Maybe because so much seems to be riding on a single spaced page, like my whole 500 page book. Maybe because deep down I fear the countless rejection letters that have yet to be written. Whatever the reason, it is killing me.

 The rules for what makes a good query and a bad query vary as broadly as what makes a good novel and a bad novel, the problem with the whole system is that a good query does not guarantee a good novel nor the reverse. It is the most common gateway, unless I can find thousands of dollars somewhere an attend writing conventions all year trying to get a minute to pitch an agent who, if I am charming and polite and everything else I need to be in addition to having a good story, will tell me to send them a query.

I hate my query, I love my story, I am freaking out.

I see why so many authors drink.

Of course I will post it up here to be critiqued before I send it off to anybody so maybe somebody can help me.

Ack, I have wasted all the time I can think of on this post, time to get back to work on the stupid query.

Tchuss

-Lystra

Adult Content

I am editing my book and as I edit I find myself wondering about the content of my book. The story has lots of drugs and sex. The sex isn’t such a big deal but I am concerned about the drugs part.

The idea for my story came to me when I realized that people who were addicted to drugs didn’t act like themselves, I thought that they acted like the drug possessed them like a demon, they weren’t in control of themselves, they didn’t act like themselves, they did evil things that they would never dream of doing sober. Then I thought, well what if they really were possessed, what if there was a demon out there controlling them like puppets on a string? Great idea for a story.

I still believe it is a great idea for a story, and I think I wrote a great story about it, no point on being humble now, but I worry about what people will think about me for writing what could be considered a “drug book”.

I am not Hunter S. Thomson, I had to read and research to get my drug story to ring true. I also talked to alot of people who have alot of…um experience. But I have already been asked by people who have read my story how I know so much about drug use. I answered “research” but that just seems like nudge nudge wink wink kind of answer.

I worry about the consequences of the content of my story, what people will assume about me, what my friends and family will think. What complete strangers who have no idea who I am will think. What my children will think when they get old enough to read it.

I comfort myself with the following thought, my story is ultimately about destroying the drug that is threatning to destroy the world, so it’s an anti-drug book. I wish with all my heart that a couple of stalwart heroes could destroy the source of methamphetimine and save us from the horrors that drug has inflicted on the world. So I hope that people get the right idea at the end.

Ultimately I really didn’t have a choice about writing this story, it’s been begging me to write it for years before I sat down and wrote the first chapter. I had to write it, I loved the idea too much to ignore it.

Finished with my first draft!

I just finished the first draft of my book Midnight in Vegas.  Sorry I haven’t posted anything new or exciting but the finale of my story was all encompasing. I had to finish it! So spending time writing blogs or poetry or anything other than my novel just wasn’t possible.

I hope that readers find the ending as exciting to read as it was to write. It took hold of me and I couldn’t type fast enough to end it.

At 125,294 words it it alot longer than I wanted and I am breaking out the hatchet and scalpel to do some serious editing but the story is done. It has an ending, and a good one at that. So I am happy, even if I don’t cut another word it has a beginning middle and end, that is an accomplishment in itself.

At this point I am willing to let anyone who wants to read it have a look. I would like to thank the people who have read the work in progress for their help and feedback and I am looking for more of the same. For those people who have been dying to read it, now is your chance, let me know if you are interested.

More updates later

Tchuss

-Lystra

Published in: on April 26, 2009 at 11:50 pm  Comments (3)  
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Book In a Nutshell Version 3.1

Okay so I decided not to leave my versions as comments.

Here is version 3.0 for those of you who haven’t looked at the comments.

Just UPDATED: V3.1

Jeff Heaven is getting a bit long in the tooth to be a club kid, let alone an Ecstasy dealer, he had thought he had seen it all when a strange and powerful new drug emerges from the pulsating clubs of Las Vegas, instantly replacing Ecstasy as the drug of choice, the substance spreads like a cancer throughout the city, and Jeff discovers his friend is the sole supplier. Niccolo Casciano is a young Las Vegas Metro Officer out clubbing with his girlfriend, unaware that deep within the pastel shadows cast by neon lights a demon patiently watches as her essence is consumed by thousands, she grows in power and influence; soon she will have enough to return to our world. Can either one of them realize what is really happening, and if they do, can they stop her?

Tell me what you think!

-Lystra

BTW you can see version 2.0 in all it’s 160 word glory in the comment section of the first post.

Knight Agency Book in a Nutshell Contest.

I am going to enter my book Midnight in Vegas into the Knight Agency Book in a Nutshell contest.

The basic premise is that you have to sum up your book in three sentences and less than 150 words. They are going to ask for full manuscripts from the best entries.

I have been working on my three sentences but I would like to hear what you have to say about them.

Here is what I have:

A strange and powerful new drug emerges from the pulsating clubs of Las Vegas, instantly replacing Ecstasy as the drug of choice, the substance soon is found in every corner of the city. Deep within the pastel shadows cast by neon lights a demon patiently watches as her essence is consumed by thousands, she grows in power and influence; soon she will have enough souls to return to our world. Can a burned out Ecstasy dealer, grown old and disillusioned with the scene, or a young Metro officer, oblivious to the unseen world around him, realize what is really happening, and if they do, can they stop her?

I am looking for feedback here people! Critique, suggest, help me!  I don’t need platitudes. This is a great opportunity for a big agent to look at my work, but my sentences have to be really, really good. I know they run on but they are looking for up to 150 words so I’m not too worried about that. I want my sentences to stand out and I don’t think they are there yet.

You can comment by clicking on the headline and filling out the comment box. I can approve or disapprove comments so don’t worry about being too harsh! If you don’t want me to post your comment let me know. You can email me at lystraeudaimon@msn.comor send me a private tweet at @lystrapitts if you don’t want to comment on the blog.

Thanks

-Lystra

The Big Authonomy Question

When I went to the Writer’s Digest Editors Intensive one of the things that they talked about is www.Authonomy.com. It is a website developed by Harper Collins (Major Publisher) where writers can post up all or some of their work and get people to look at it. The best books are determined by the readers and the top books get looked at by Harper Collins’ editors. This is a big deal as Harper Collins does not accept direct submissions, you have to have an agent, and a good one at that, to get their editors to look at your work.

I am going to post the first part of my book Midnight In Vegas as soon as I get my cover art done. (You have to have a cover, I am working on mine, I’ll do a post on that later.) I am excited at this new way of getting noticed. Not only is Harper Collins reading the posts but other publishers and agents are scouring the site for new talent.

The big uproar at the moment however is all about a single book. It is called Lesser Sins by Vineet Bhalla. The buzz about this book isn’t about how good it is. It is about the author’s use of community to get it pushed, unfairly some people claim, to the top of the readers list.

Vineet, as it turns out, is a big time member of a online gaming group, a massive online gaming group. So when he posted his book he went online and told all his online buddies (like 800 or so) to go and vote for his book. Which they did. He went on YouTube and posted videos on how to do it. He went out and marketed his work like nobody else has ever done. He shot straight to number 1. Not on the merit of his book, but on the power of his community.

So the question is: Did he cheat?

I don’t think so. I think he was very, very clever. When I post up my book Midnight In Vegas on Authonomy I intend to announce it to everyone who will listen. I am sure that everyone who has posted anything on that site did the same thing. It is a popularity contest! It is stupid not to. They just didn’t take it to the level that Vineet did. 

I wish I had Vineet’s following. I am working on building one right now. I think what he did is genious, the man took the word platform and showed the world what it really means. The Internet is boundless, get used to it.

There is a great interview with Vineet on Lauri Shaw’s blog (http://www.laurishaw.com/vineet-bhalla-klazart-interviewed-about-authonomy/) I suggest that you read it.

I would like to say that coincidentally Lesser Sins is the first book I read on Authonomy when I signed up. Not because it’s popularity but because it has a great cover picture and the summary is excellent. I’ll save my opinion of the book’s content for another post.

So did Vineet achieve anything he wouldn’t have achieved without his community? I don’t think he did. I think he achieved it faster.

Ultimately his work and the work of every author will be judged by agents, editors and publishers before it gets published. They will NEVER give anyone a book deal because they have lots of on line friends who are willing to go do something that is absolutely free. His work has to stand on its own feet if it is going to go any further. What he received was attention, lots of it, and that can only be a good thing. It is all up to him and his work from here.

That is my opinion but I would like to hear what you think.

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